Cristina Avoids her Ph.D. Work

Disgracefully, I have to admit that I have not completed any of the research and writing needed to finish my dissertation so far.  I just realized last week that the spring semester of college classes ended on Friday and commencement (the one I was originally hoping to participate in) took place yesterday.  A sharp twinge of regret pierces my heart as I realize that I have not gotten any work done the entire spring semester. 

Cristina poses with Jared and Luke

Some writer’s block or mental fear of the monumental task before me has kept me in a pool of procrastination that I can’t seem to swim out of.  I keep telling myself, “Once I finish grading these papers” or “Once I get through this project” I’ll get started on the Ph.D.  Alas, that never happens.  Something else always comes along to take up all the free time I have (which isn’t much). 

Now, I’m wondering if I have to reach the very bottom of my desperation before I do something about it.

I think the hardest thing for me is trying to balance my work/study time with the time I spend with my children.  I want Jared and Luke to be a priority.  When I finally sit in front of the computer to type, my body and mind are so exhausted that I can’t think intelligently anymore…much less, try to write a dissertation. 

I’m praying that I’ll find the extra motivation and determination to push past my fears and get moving on this huge project soon.